I'm beginning to feel a bit old all of a sudden.
This is mostly because of some of my colleagues in their early-to-mid twenties and their sometimes frankly puzzling colloquialisms. I work with a guy, let's call him Aaron, and a girl, let's call her Jane, who also happen to share a flat as well as work together. They also went to the same university and worked together in the student union. They also both have evening jobs in a pub down the road. They are inseparable, and although they sit in separate offices, are always calling each other or emailing to share some joke or youtube video or discuss some raucous thing that happened last night when they were out drinking dressed as Smurfs, or chatter away about how one of them fell asleep on the toilet and left their kebab in the bed, or some other kind of kerrr-azy midweek japery. Oh dear. See? I sound so old!
Anyway, I'm learning a lot from them - particularly as far as vocabulary is concerned. Because Aaron and I share an office, I often overhear their conversations. One of Aaron's common favourites is to dial Jane in the next office over and do an impression of Anne, the mental poo-smearing patient from Little Britain whose catchphrase is "eh-eh-ehhhhh".
Maybe three or four times a day.
Oh, the things I've learned! They have been gleaned from snippets of conversations carried out behind me in our office as I've typed away, pretending to work but really making mental notes of whatever strange, young-person speak escapes their filthy little mouths. If something was 'gash', it wasn't a wound, it means it was rubbish. Oh holy crap - I just checked urban dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/) and it actually means a girl...you can guess why. That's so stupid! It's like calling all men knobs.
Anyway. If someone is 'butters', they aren't trying to re-enact Last Tango in Paris, it means they're unattractive. Apparently this one is very commonplace - the Mister had heard this expression at his North London comprehensive. Where have I been? At my Kent co-ed I was only exposed to the concepts of 'kushti', 'pikey', and 'chavtastic'. My cousins tell me that if someone is 'hench' it means they're well-built and likely to win in a fight. If they're bare hench, you'd really better watch out. Oh, and 'elephant leg'? That's kebab meat. I dare not think of what 'kebab meat' means. Oh wait. I know what it means. That's disgusting.
Anyway. 'What is all this in aid of?', you may ask. What does this post have to do with musings about London or food or outings? These ramblings are nothing like the usual astute meditations I expect to find when I visit this site. (Hah.) Well, the best colloquialism I've learned from these two characters at work is this: Jane refers to food she likes, or likes the look of, as 'fit', in much the same way another person might refer to a good-looking individual.
And I love that. I've picked it up and am using it unashamedly, whether it's about my plate of chicken stew or a chocolate bar. And, because Jane also grew up in Kent, you have to do it like she does: drop the 't' and make it more of a glottal stop. 'Fi-'.
'That soup was fi-'. 'That chocolate cake was 'fi-'. 'Those chips were well fi-.'
This last thing we* made was bare fit, innit.
*(amendment made, props to the Mister for his idea)
Avocado and Manchego Garlic Toasts
Ingredients:
1 avocado, ripe
1 garlic clove, peeled
wholemeal, seeded or rye bread slices
olive oil
dried chilli flakes
salt and pepper
1. Cut up and partially mash a whole avocado. Add olive oil, salt, pepper and a shake or two of dried chilli flakes.
2. Toast some good-quality sliced bread (we used some hearty Polish sunflower 'chleb').
3. Peel a garlic clove and rub lightly over the toasted bread.
4. Spoon on the avocado mash and slice some Manchego on the top, as thick or as thinly as you like. Sprinkle with pepper and slosh a bit of olive oil all over that bad boy.
5. Eat while hot - flippin' gorgeous. Sorry - fit.
NB: Thanks to Shannoncita and E for the Manchego: see here for more of their talents.
